Forever and Always
by AngelBuffy-4eva
Summary: My veiw on what might have happened if Buffy couldn't deal with Angel leaving her in season 3 and his reaction to what happens.


**This is my First Fanfic so please dont burn me i dont mind criticism but not people being outright mean.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and make no profit from writing these stories.**

**Now On With the Story**

"_I want my life to be with _you"

"_I don't"_

As I look back those two words were the worst I had ever heard "I dont." If I had known three years ago that two words could cause me so much pain I would of laughed but I dont anymore, I dont laugh, I dont smile, I try to please everyone they all think i've moved on that Riley's enough for me but I hurt, more than I ever have in my life, its so hard to force a smile enough to fool my 'friends' but they dont notice they've got their own lives, Willows got Tara, Xanders got Anya, Giles doesn't notice and my moms never there, I ache its so hard to just get up, get dressed to pretend i'm happy my only releif is slaying, embracing the darkness, they've noticed it, the vampires the demons they've noticed i'm not the same seems their the only one that have.

He thinks i've forgotten that day, the happiest i've ever been I told him I'd never forget and I didn't that day when I walked out of his office was the hardest thing I have ever done as he sat there, he just sat so I left i'd thought when he left after graduation that that would be the end, when he left it felt like half of me was missing that someone had ripped by heart out stomped on it and stuck it back in my chest, I thought that I couldn't hurt anymore but I was wrong walking out of the office that day it was like I had no heart my chest ached and I felt so empty but he didn't notice he's moved on he's got Codelia and Doyle they're his family now.

So I lay there at night and I cry wishing for a happy ending that i'm never going to get, I cry and I greive as willow lays in the bed next to mine sleeping softly mumbling something about frogs, and just for a moment I hate them all, I hate them for how they get to be happy, they get someone who loves them they get to curl up at night in the arms of someone who will keep them safe, while I lay their and whats left of my heart and my soul crumbles away, as each day goes by and I know that i'm not going to make it through the year i'm labled as one of the strongest and most powerful slayers ever to exist but I hurt so one day while i'm out there i'm going to make a mistake, I wont mean to but I will, I'll make a mistake then I wont hurt anymore so I get up I get dressed grab a bag and put all the money, clothes and weapons that I can fit in the bag in it, them I grab a piece of paper and I scrawl a quick note for them.

_**Willow, I'm sorry to do this to you and everyone again but I hurt and no ones noticed i'm not me without Angel and I can never have him so i'm leaving, I'm dont want to hurt everyone but I need to find peace I need to try and heal and move on and I cant do that here everything reminds me of him and I lay down at night and feel my heart and soul falling to pieces. Tell everyone i'm sorry but don't look for me I don't want to be found, I'll try to let you know i'm ok but if I dont then please know that I love you all, but you know what you felt when Oz left, that doesn't compare to what i'm feeling so Goodbye, I'll miss you. Please tell Angel that I love him, that I never stopped loving him and I remember the day that never was, thats all I ask of you please remember to tell him.**_

_**Love Buffy**_

Leaving the note on willow's nightstand I leave and I walk and just when I thought I had no more tears left I cry and I walk i've got a long road ahead of me and I think of who look after them all but then I think they can turns their backs on it, I couldn't they dont belong in my world and they dont have to stay in it. So I hop on a bus, I pay for my fare and I sit down and I wait for the bus to take me wherever its heading and I try to sleep, but I cant I haven't slept propelry since he left and I catch my reflection, I'm a mess i'm thin, I have deep circles under my eyes but I don't care none of it matters, so I sit and I close my eyes wishing for something I can never have as the bus takes me wherever its going.

_**1 YEAR LATER**_

_Ring Ring, Ring Ring_

"_Yes hello-what, no- I- no"_

"_Yo G-man." a voice calls out as Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Spike and Riley walk in "Any news on the Buffster." The old man that is sitting clutching the ph_one as they walk in looks up, tears are streaking down his face and his voice is weak they have to lean forwed to catch what he is saying. "A new slayer has been called and faith-" but he doesn't need to finish they know, Willow collapses on the ground and she starts pounding the floor "NO, NO, NO, NO, this is all my fault I should have been there she needed me but I didn't care I thought she was over him, Oh God I have to go I need to tell him" so she gets up and leaves the others just stand there too shocked to do anthing let alone go with her.

**LATER ON THAT NIGHT, LOS ANGELES.**

(Willows POV)

Oh my god how am I going to tell him, she said in the note to give him the message but I didn't I forgot, oh god what if he had been able to do something. I walk in I briefly take in my surrounding its grand, very big I walk in no one seem to be home so I wait, I don't know how long I've been waiting for when I hear the telltale signs of someone walking down the stairs I dont look up I dont want to give it away and I knew if I looked up I wouldn't be able to tell him, "Willow what is it is everything ok" he asks, I finally look up "No its not, Angel you might want to sit theirs something I need to tell you" I say "No i'm ok, just tell me" I nod I need to just say it "Angel, It's Buffy." If its even possible he pales and reaching blindly for a chair he lowers himslef into it "Willow tell me everything that happened" I nod i'd expected nothing less so taking a deep shuddering breath I say "She ran away she couldn't deal with you leaving, none of us noticed we were too busy with our own lives, she needed us and we weren't there so she left, she didn't say where she was going and this afternoon Giles got a call from the watchers council, a new slayer had been called and faith was ok, we don't even know how it happened, but she left a note saying she was sorry, but that she wasn't herself without you, she said she was sorry for leaving but she needed to find peace and try and move on and that she didn't want us to look for her that she loves us that she'd miss us and asked me to give you a message" I stop briefly i'm crying now but I keep going he needs to hear this "She said to say that she loves you that she never stopped loving you and that she remembers the day that never was." I look at him with the last part it was the part I never understood, but his eyes widen slightly and he nods I think he's in shock**, "**Get out Willow" he says I know why but I ask anyway "GET OUT, JUST GET OUT, LEAVE I DON'T WANT YOU HERE GO!!!!" he shouts he's visibly shaking so I nod and get up "Angel, I-" "NOW WILLOW" I'm crying but I walk out and as I turn at the doorway he's at his weapons chest a stake in hand, I realise what he's about to do but i'm too slow "Angel, NO I shout but i'm too late he's rammed the stake in his chest and as I run towards him he crumbles to ash in front of my eyes.

I don't make it more than a few steps and i'm on my knees crying great sobs wracking my frame first Buffy now Angel who else was going to leave and then I realise that maybe they can be together now finaly they deserve some peace after everything they'd been through.

_**IN A HIGHER PLANE**_

The two champions ran towards each other embarcing happier now than they had ever been before, then the champion who was born in darkeness and came to light swept the other off of her feet kissing her passionatley, breaking apart only to whisper in each other ears "_I Love you, forever and always" _before resuming their passionate embrace and on the highest plane the powers watched the two partlially in sadness but happy for the couple, they had lost their champions but they could never be together on earth together they were strong but divided they were weak, but here they had no need to be apart there was no fear and they could finally be together forever and always.


End file.
